Because we are all different we all will cope with challenges differently. Sometimes we can't ignore whats happening to us so at the end of the day its how we deal with difficulties that makes all the difference.
I get asked a lot how I manage with three young kids and a physical disability. I don't have grandparents whisking them away so that I can get a break, their dad works two jobs, and all my friends have their own busy lives. The reality of my day is that they are almost always with me. I don't mind and luckily we enjoy each others company but of course there are days where I feel like I can't cope and I'm about to explode with frustration and exhaustion.
So how to do I cope with the challenges in my life? I'm going to share what has worked for me.
- Let go of the small stuff: I used to obsess with cleaning up and having everything perfectly in order when my first was born. I don't anymore. The house isn't a mess but its decently organized and that's okay.
- Ask for help when you need it: I am not a stubborn person but I am prideful and asking for help isn't always an easy thing for me to do. I want to keep my ability to do as much for myself as I can until the day comes when I can't. I also don't want to be a burden but that has changed albeit slowly. I am learning to ask and to accept the help. It's a work in progress.
- Take a deep breath: Actually I take a lot of them. When the pain becomes to much, I stop and I take a deep breath. When the kids aren't listening to me, I stop and take a deep breath. When my eyes are getting tired and I can't continue writing, reading, or finishing a movie (three of my favorite things to do), I stop and take a deep breath and try and sleep. Take deep breathes. Breath in and out slowly and think of nothing but that act. It helps.
- Keep things organized: Even if you aren't an organized person, keeping things simple and in some functioning order will help. Purge the clutter, don't over book your calendar, stop trying to juggle everything. Keep your home, your routine, and everything in your environment as simple as you possibly can. This is alway an ongoing process for me. I am in the middle of spring cleaning currently and I still have a ways to go but when stuff is put in its place and things are as clean as can be it makes a lot of things easier. I am also an environment oriented person so an organized home makes a huge difference in how I feel and how I go about my day-to-day activities.
- Just say NO: Don't try to please everyone. Try to please yourself first. Sounds selfish? Well, your sanity is key when dealing with daily challenges like health, finances, relationships, etc.
- Pace yourself: I have a schedule in my notes section on my phone for every single day. I write every little thing I have to do, have to remember, and hope to do. If I don't get some things done that day I add it to other days. This way I pace myself and try to check off as much as possible and what I didn't do I just try to do another day.
- Go day by day or hour by hour or minute by minute: Some days I am able to think about tomorrow and plan things in my head. Some days so much is coming at me, so much is on my mind, and my body is just completely drained so on those days I go hour by hour.
- Be kind to yourself: Be proud of yourself for the little things you get done. Whether its the laundry or making a phone call or making it to a meeting on time. Be kind to yourself. Also treat yourself to things throughout the day. Your favorite coffee, a 20 minute break to watch a tv show, or a morning at the nail salon. Be kind to yourself.
We all have challenges coming at us in all directions every single day. Some days feel more bearable than others. My challenges challenge me every moment of the day but they are also a big part of who I am. My family, my disability, my lifestyle. I love my life and thats why I make a conscious choice to look at my difficulties as challenges and to face my challenges with as much kindness and patience as I can. How we deal with our challenges makes all the difference.
I LOVE the new look and this post needs to spread far and wide!!!!! Thank you!!
ReplyDeleteKim
You're so sweet Kim!! Thank you so much!! xox
DeleteAnd those socks!!!!
ReplyDeleteKim
Aren't they sweet!?? xox
DeleteNumber 7 and 8. I also have a tip, if im faced with a problem or something is bothering me i ask myself...1. Is it something that I have control over ? 2. If not acknowledge that and move on...if i do have control...does it need my attention now or can it wait until another day? If it can wait i can put it on a todo list and move on with my day.
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