Classic Cinema Spotlight: The Monster Club (1981)

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Despite being a critical and commercial failure, The Monster Club (1981) is no ordinary B horror movie. It stars Old Hollywood legends Vincent Price as the Vampire Erasmus, John Carradine as the horror author, R. Chetwyn-Hayes, and Donald Pleasance as the Vampire Hunter Pickering. Each of these A-list stars are known for a massive and diverse body of works as actors but they are each famous for being horror movie icons.

The film begins with Vincent Price who plays the Vampire Erasmus walks around looking for a little midnight snack. Before you know it he is nibbling on John Carradine. Although Price is famous for the many horror movies he has been, this is the only film where he actually plays a vampire. After their awkward first meeting they politely introduce themselves to one another. Erasmus declares that Chetwyn-Hayes is his favorite horror author and then invites him to come along to a monster club that he frequents.

The monster club is filled with all sorts of creatures and ghouls, many who you can tell are wearing silly monster masks. But its the vibe of the club that hooks you in. Immediately you hear a band called The Viewers sing the theme of the film called, Monsters Rule O.K. Then Erasmus begins to explain the hierarchy of monsters to Chetwyn-Hayes from coolest poster I have even seen.

Erasmus explains to his new human friend, "We have the primate monsters: vampires, werewolves and ghouls. Now, a vampire and a werewolf would produce a werevamp, but a werewolf and a ghoul would produce a weregoo, and a vampire and a ghoul would produce a vamgoo. A weregoo and a werevamp would produce a shaddy. Now, a weregoo and a vamgoo would produce a maddy, but a werevamp and a vamgoo would produce a raddy. Now, if a shaddy were to mate with a raddy or a maddy the result would be a mock. Frankly, that's just a polite name for a mongrel."

There are four stories told while at the monster club as well as musical sequences in-between each story. The main story is about Erasmus and his human friend, Mr. Chetwyn-Hayes, which bookends the other three story. The first story Erasmus shares is about a Shadmock and warns Chetwynd-Hayes that "oh, you should see the results of a Shadmock's whistling. The story begins when a young lady named Angela and her greedy boyfriend begin looking to find ways of stealing and making an easy buck. Angela ends up landing a job with a reclusive man named Raven, who happens to be a Shadmock. Although Angela finds him both terrifying and repulsive, she agrees to work for him in order to get closer to his money. The end is shocking and tragic when the Shamock releases his infamous whistle.

Just as the story ends a new rock segment begins with a song by B.A. Robertson called, "Sucker For Your Love." Erasmus proudly declares that "they are playing his song" because it is all about being a vampire. As soon as the whole semi-music video experience has ended we get introduced to another story. This one is wholesome story about a film producer retelling about his life with his mother (Britt Ekland) and father. He refers to his fathers "profession" as a night worker until it is revealed that he is actually a vampire. Its a little cheesy but Donald Pleasance makes a unforgettable appearance as Pickering, the vampire hunter. The tales ends with the unconventional family finding joy together as a family while ironically poor Pickering finds himself on the other side of a stake.

Another song is sung this time by Stevie Vann who belts out, "The Stripper" which is paired with the most unique stripe tease in film history. After this wild sequence is played out, Erasmus shares his final story which is all about ghouls. It stars Stuart Whitman as Sam, a movie director who is scouting for locations for his latest film. He encounters a young girl by the name of Luna, who is a humegoo (half human/half ghoul), who is keen on escaping the village. Things begin to get strange and while hiding out in a church Sam discovers that the inhabitants actually live off the bodies of the dead. Both Sam and Luna try their best to escape but horrors await them no matter how hard they try.

The humegoo story is probably the saddest and most terrifying of them all. But Erasmus isn't done yet as he declares to Chetwynd-Hayes that he wants to put him up for membership. Eramus begins to cheerfully list to the other club members all the imaginative ways that humans have of being horrible to each other. Eramus then asks, "Can we truly call this a Monster Club if we do not boast amongst our membership a single member of the human race?" He then declares that humans are the most despicable monsters of all. And to the surprise of the viewer as well as to Chetwynd-Hayes himself, is made an honorary monster and member of the club. To celebrate, Erasmus and Chetwynd-Hayes dance to The Pretty Things sing "The Monster Club". It's a perfect ending to a quirky monster movie that is utterly unforgettable.